An Easter Message

Today is Easter, and to Christians, it's an incredibly special, sacred day. As we Christians take this day to reflect on what our Savior Jesus Christ has done for us, I want to draw special attention to his teachings. Yes, this is going to be a religion themed post, but the lessons that Jesus taught his followers (as well as what Buddha, Muhammad, Martin Luther, and many other religious figures taught) are invaluable and need to be constantly in our hearts.
In the New Testament of the Bible, in John Chapter 13 verse 34, it reads, "A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you."
Here, Jesus is speaking with his disciples and explaining to them that it is of the utmost importance to have love and compassion for everyone. Did Jesus shun the Lepers? No, he healed them when none would go near them. Did Jesus pass by the woman at the well? No. Jesus is the ultimate example of love and of compassion. And no act of love has ever been greater than his sacrifice in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross for all of mankind. Remember, He suffered the pains and sorrows of every man, woman, and child that has walked and will walk this Earth, all so that we may return to Him and the Father and live in their presence forever.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons, LDS, it's the same thing) gave a talk on this very subject. His message reaches out to all Christians everywhere, not just members of his church. I've posted a video of his message, as well as the transcript if you would like to read it, in place of what I wanted to say, simply because Elder Holland says it much better. Happy Easter! Remember to love.

"Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are."--Elder Jeffrey R. Holland


Here's the link to the transcript of this talk- worth reading even if you watch the video. 
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/none-were-with-him?lang=eng

Happiness Is An Attitude

The last couple of days have been very tumultuous. I may be moving away from the place where I've grown up and spent nearly my entire life. I have friends here I've known since I was 5 years old. Leaving behind all these memories would be incredibly hard for me.
But this situation has made me stop and think for a moment: yeah, my life's gonna suck here in a few months if I move. I'm gonna be the new kid in school, the new kid at church, the new kid on the block. And me having a mullet doesn't help things much. But the point I'm trying to make with this is pretty simple: I have every excuse in the world to be sad and miserable about life. But I'm not.
I don't say that to boast or to make myself look good, I'm far from looking good (again, the mullet doesn't help). But the whole point of me having this blog is so that I can share what I've learned throughout life in the hopes that others will somehow be helped by what I have to say.
Now, a story to help make my point: I had a very disruptive childhood. I have a dysfunctional family; not my immediate family. My grandparents, aunts, and uncles on both my mom's and dad's side have their issues; depression, drug and alcohol abuse, and a lot of other really unpleasant things. Through my life, I'm close to only one cousin out of the many I have, my cousin Ben.
Needless to say, having all these negative influences in your life, especially when you're young, doesn't help much in the way of having a happy attitude. I remember growing up and looking at my grandparents, my uncles, my aunts, and thinking why are they always fighting? Why are they always sad and upset? I remember how hard it was on my dad when his oldest niece, my oldest cousin, got pregnant, had her baby, then killed herself a few months later. Almost a year later, her mom, my dad's sister, died.
But the worst was when my great-grandfather died. Now, my great-grandma is the most amazing and wonderful woman to ever live on this planet. She is amazing. If I can even be half as compassionate and kind as she is, I will have achieved something great. When her husband died, it was something incredibly sad for all of us. The most perfect person I knew was now alone. Out of everyone in my family, I thought my great-grandma has the most reason to be sad after her husband's death.
Obviously, I went to the funeral. Afterwards, life got in the way and I wasn't able to go see my great-grandma for nearly 2 weeks after the funeral. When I got to her house, I was preparing myself to have her crying and sad, even though she hadn't cried much at the funeral.
When she opened the door, she gave me the biggest hug in the world and said I love you. I replied with the same hug and phrase, and then looked at her. She was smiling. She was happy. She wasn't tearing herself apart with grief, even though she had every right to do so.
This experience left me with the realization that no matter what happens to you in life, you can always be happy. Happiness truly is just an attitude. Happiness shouldn't be dependent on money, big houses, fancy cars, and luxurious vacations. If you let your happiness be dictated by the events of life you can't control, you'll be a very sad person. I know that firsthand: nearly every single one of my relatives is that way.
Back to the story: I asked my great-grandma why she wasn't sad. She simply said to me, "I know I'll see Harlan(my great-grandpa)in Heaven. He just beat me there is all."
Now, whether or not you believe in an afterlife or a God isn't any of my business. I do, and my belief in my faith gives me strength to go on through hard times. But the point of this story was simply to show that there is some good in EVERYTHING that happens. My great-grandma found the good in her situation in her belief in God and Heaven.
I've found the good in my situation, that I might be moving. I'll be able to move on to a different life, and meet new people and make new memories somewhere else. I'll miss all my old friends like crazy if I move, but I won't let not seeing them make me sad.
Happiness is an attitude. Remember that. You've got one shot at this life, don't spend it sad and upset. Spend it looking at the good in everything.

Please comment and share!.

Follow me on Twitter, @Spencer_Durrant 

Remember to Be, not to Do

Today has been the culmination of a really hard week for me. School has decided to rain homework on me and I've barely slept because I've been up all hours of the night working on schoolwork. And while I'm up at 1 or 2 in the morning, I start to think about things I've done in my life and things that I haven't achieved. For some reason, I've been dwelling a lot on my past failures.
Now, I go to therapy once a week, to help me remain more positive and focused on the good things in life. I don't have a problem admitting it. I know without the help of my doctor, I'd be a very depressed person. He helps me see the good, and I'm just trying to help you see the good as well.
Today during my session, I shared some of the things I'd been thinking about this past week. I talked about failures, because that's what's been mostly on my mind. I kept talking about how I thought that if I tried something, and it didn't work out the way I intended it to, then I thought of myself as a failure. As a result of thinking this, I got myself into bad way of thinking. I began thinking that if I don't try, I'd never fail, and therefore be less disappointed and upset with life.
My therapist brought up a good point once I was done talking. He said to me, everyone fails in life. It's impossible to escape failure. And by not trying, you are failing because you're cheating yourself out of opportunities.
Then he said to me, let's think of a positive way to fix your thought process; right now, you believe that if something doesn't work out the way you intended, then you're a failure. But think of it this way: if something doesn't work out the way you want, then what can I learn from this?
That struck me really hard. As of right now, I'd never really thought about what I could learn from life's trials. I always thought that not trying would just eliminate them. But in reality, it just makes them worse.
This is something everyone struggles with. I don't care who you are or where you live. We all have a problem with failing and with learning to learn.
I know that it'll be easier to ask myself what I've learned instead of dwelling on the negative of what I didn't achieve.
But a way to make sure this is easier, is another little trick of positive thinking that was shared with me today. When we think about all the negative things that have happened to us, we think of them in terms of, "this is what we couldn't do." What we don't focus on is what we can be.
This is an important concept. I'm no psychologist so I'll probably do an awful job of explaining this, but I'll try my best.
Let's say you try out for the basketball team, and you get cut. You've put in hours and hours of hard practice. Other things in life have been put on hold, and you've poured your entire heart into being on the basketball team. Then you don't make it. For whatever reason, the coach decides to cut you.
When this happened to me a few years ago, I got incredibly upset. I was absolutely fuming! I was hell to deal with and frankly, I overreacted. I was entirely focused on the do, the playing for the basketball team. I failed to realize the be in the situation. I didn't look at myself and say, well, I didn't make the team. I should have said, look at what I've become. I have become in very good shape. I've become a hard worker and I've become better at managing time, between homework and practice. A bunch of really good things have happened because I decided to put time into something, and even though it didn't work out the way I wanted it to, I've become a better, different person in the process.
Circumstances don't always work out how we want them to. Things happen in ways we can't predict. I myself believe in God, and I believe that sometimes things messing up in life is His way of saying, look, I have a different way for things to go for you, one that will be better.
If you don't believe in a God, just think of hard situations as a long road to a better place.
And always remember, focus on what you have become through all your trials, not what you weren't able to do. What you are now and what you've learned is far more important than any past failure.
Please feel free to comment!

Follow me on Twitter, @Spencer_Durrant